The Value of Struggle
Struggling isn’t bad. There is a time and place for struggling. In fact, struggling and being challenged often provide the perfect conditions for us to reach our next level of personal growth and learn some of life’s most valuable lessons. So why do we go to such great lengths to avoid it?
Looking at Nature, we see endless examples of where struggle is the necessary catalyst for strength and growth.
A favorite example of mine is the tomato plant. In the early stages of its growth, it’s often tall and spindly, and you’ll see it flailing in the wind like an inflatable air puppet. Not wanting it to break, a sensible solution would be to support it and start training the seedling to grow in a cage or trellis, right? However, the flailing is necessary to build the structure of the stem to be both strong enough and flexible enough to support its own fruits. Without the flailing, when the fruits form, the stem is less resilient, less flexible, and more susceptible to breaking – undermining the ultimate mission of the plant to produce fully ripened tomatoes. And so we must allow the tomato seedling to flail, and in our eyes, struggle, to bear the weight of its destiny.
Another perfect example is the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis. The struggle of releasing itself is the only means of strengthening its wings in order to use them properly and to fly! So if we were to intervene and “help” the butterfly out, we would be cheating the butterfly of its one opportunity to strengthen itself and complete its metamorphosis. A butterfly that doesn’t get this opportunity will not be strong enough to fly and live its purpose.
Do you see a theme?
In the experience of life, there is struggle. We, as Humans, are no exception to this. And as we grow, as we transform, and as we move forward through the different stages of life’s journey, we will experience periods of struggle punctuated by breakthroughs to greater self-awareness, higher consciousness, and the shedding of beliefs about who we are and our role in the world that no longer serve us to progress.
How long we struggle is often determined by the level of our own resistance to that struggle and the lengths we take to avoid and postpone it. Have you experienced this yourself? Observed it in someone else? Running away from the opportunity to struggle and fighting to stay in the comfort zone?
I remember in the 90’s and early 2000s when I was fiercely attached to the identity of someone who was mentally ill and incurable. “I’ll always be this way.” “I can’t get better.” “I’ll never live a normal life.” I really used to believe these things! And along the way, there were many people who encouraged and enabled this identity, and then there were the brave few who saw me differently and challenged me to resist this identity, including my late father. At the time, I was really stuck in it, and so my reaction was to get angry, defensive, and to accuse them of not caring, not believing in me, and not supporting me. In particular, I recall the last psychiatrist that I worked with refusing to return my calls. I was so mad at her! But she held strong and communicated to me that until I calmed down and got out of my drama, I couldn’t be clear and grounded, so she would be of no help to me.
And even though I wasn’t willing to listen in the moment, the words they said to me got in.
And decades later, I now thank these brave few most of all for the miracles of my healing journey. Contrary to my accusations, in hindsight they were the ones who walked the walk of caring for the real me, believed in who I was underneath the shadow of the identity, and supported me to remember that I can heal and overcome. Whether it was through their actions, their words, or their inactions and the words they didn’t say, they truly inspired in me the belief that I could rise above and be more!
So when I hear anyone tell me, with absolute certainty, that they can’t heal or that they’ll always be this way, I smile to myself. Because I was in a similar place. And having gone what I’ve gone through, and knowing this part of the journey a little better now, I now have the opportunity to serve them in remembering and breaking free from the comfort of their disbelief; to pay it forward.
As a Healer, I do not heal my clients. I remind them of their own power to heal and transform. I serve them in overcoming their belief that healing and change is impossible. I empower them to express their innate potential to transform and overcome. And I assist them in clearing the negative distortions around struggling and the positive role it can play in our progression as Humans.
One example of these negative distortions is equating struggling and suffering. They are not the same.
To struggle is to break free from constraints and limits – there’s movement and action involved. To suffer is to experience prolonged pain or abuse, whether by another’s hand or our own – involving lack of movement and inaction. And so the journey of healing involves chipping away at distortions like this that compel us to box ourselves in and deactivate our own power to heal.
“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.”
This quote from Tony Robbins, and many like it, are all reminders for us of the importance of reprogramming ourselves to seek growth instead of shunning it. While the comfort zone may serve us to avoid struggle and keep our weaknesses out of the spotlight, it also cages us, weakens us, and inhibits the full, balanced expression of the powerful, limitless, Divine beings that we are. It blocks us from healing and moving forward, it can feed into fear, hesitation, and a lack mindset, and as a result, can lead to suffering.
Now, don’t get me wrong: My aim as a Healer and a Guide is not to make my clients and students struggle!
Of course I want them to experience the fruits of joy, confidence, strength, and freedom in their lives! As I desire the same fruits in mine. But I also will not rescue them from struggling as they make their way towards these goals. I will not intervene and cheat them from gaining the strength, wisdom, and confidence they are due once they overcome the struggle and break the cycle of their own free will to gain their own unique keys to higher consciousness.
This is a deep lesson that I continue to learn.
In the past, in my sincere desire to help people, I was often guilty of rescuing them from their own growth. I would hear, “Help me!” and I would rush in to save the day. Which felt good, until I heard the same cries again and again and I woke up to the fact that I was the one perpetuating a codependent pattern of needing to be needed. It was a struggle for me to witness others struggle! I had not mended my own negative perspectives on my past struggles and my inner child’s experience of abandonment and unworthiness. And so I committed to shifting my perspective on struggling for both others and myself so I could transmute that pattern and zoom out in order to serve a Higher Good for us all, which the path of Initiation and my studies of Universal Kabbalah have greatly deepened and accelerated.
“I resist the urge to rescue.” That’s my mantra for myself when I encounter a client who subconsciously, or even consciously, wants me to take their struggle away. Let’s lessen the pain and break through to clarity and groundedness so deeper, lasting healing can commence, Yes! But a shortcut to “hack” the growth process and avoid the discomfort and responsibility of doing the inner, strengthening work? No - I will not participate in that and I hold that line with love.
I reflect frequently upon the words of Founder Gudni Gudnason, the Headmaster of the Modern Mystery School and one of the most inspiring beings I’ve ever met, reminding us that serving an individual’s Highest Good can look many different ways. Sometimes it’s taking a long walk with them. Sometimes it’s hugging them and letting them know that everything’s going to be alright. Sometimes it’s sharing healing sessions with them. Sometimes, it’s simply a smile. And sometimes, it’s sharing tough love with them and holding the line that illuminates the illusion and offers them the opportunity to struggle and find their way through it. Which also means offering them the opportunity to walk away from that opportunity.
Change is inevitable.
But we will still always have a choice!
To change, or not to change.
To grow or not to grow.
To struggle or not to struggle.
To heal or not to heal.
As we’re constantly reminded when we look upon Nature, struggle, growth, change, and healing all go hand in hand. So in learning to embrace struggle, not as a sign of weakness, but rather as a sign of strength and courage, we will also embrace growth, change, and the opportunity to transform as a manifestation of healing. And the sooner we stop resisting the choice to grow and evolve towards our Higher Self, the less suffering we’ll experience.
Remember what I said about reminding others of their power to heal?
I believe we remember how to heal as we transcend our struggles to gain the life lessons unique to our purpose.
We strengthen our power to heal through surrendering to the experience of our life’s journey, as uncomfortable as it can be at times.
We affirm our own healing by having compassion and mercy for ourselves for all the times we sabotaged our growth and undermined our transformation in the past.
And we inspire hope in others to heal through breaking the chains of that cycle, seeing our struggles through with gratitude, and walking the walk of someone who embodies the power and authority to overcome, to heal, and to evolve.
Like the tomato seedling flailing in the wind, the butterfly breaking free from its chrysalis, or the teetery tottery baby learning to stand, the struggle is real. But what if that struggle is the KEY that unlocks the potential and the opportunity to live a life of purpose, freedom, and fulfillment?
Struggling is not inherently a bad thing. What’s important is how we perceive it and how we can perceive it clearly. Struggle is part of growing, learning, and leaving behind the comfort of what we think we know and stepping into the mystery of what we don’t know. It’s part of gaining the strength we need to support our unique purpose in life and to see it through so we may fulfill our sacred mission on Earth. And it’s part of the magick, the alchemy, and the excitement of this adventure called life!
So when you find yourself in a period of struggle, remember that there’s always an opportunity.
Instead of running away and putting it off, bring it in close and get to work sooner rather than later. And know that you’re facing this challenge as preparation for what’s to come – to become even stronger and even wiser for what’s ahead!
Bring your hero’s journey to life and break the cycle so that others can remember, as you did, and follow suit. And express even further commitment to your God-given purpose - through facing your struggles with passion and gratitude - as your means to fulfilling your promise to change our World for Good and bring more Light into manifestation!
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Have questions or interested in receiving ancient Hermetic teachings and tools to assist you in clearing your perception, quieting your mind, serving you to overcome the negative ego’s interference, and breaking through to higher consciousness during this challenging time on Earth? Reach out! From the Life Activation, Empower Thyself Initiation, to the 10-month journey of Universal Hermetic Ray Kabbalah, all of these hold powerful keys to ascending your lower self and unlocking your life’s purpose!
